Fight for my soul

Had a dream last night.  I remem­ber it clear­ly, which is rare, so I take note of those occa­sions when it does happen.

The scene was a well-to-do neigh­bor­hood.  There was a big white house with a lar­gish yard.  Most of the events tran­spired in the yard, espe­cial­ly along the side of the house, where there were some saplings plant­ed.  There were some mud­dy areas inter­spersed between the oth­er­wise green lawn.  The weath­er was warm, and the sun was shining.

The dream start­ed in that yard, where I was to be plant­ed and become a tree by a female char­ac­ter wear­ing white robes.  I was not accept­ing my fate, though, so I was protest­ing, fight­ing, and oth­er­wise doing what­ev­er I could to pre­vent the fate.  Then a group of peo­ple, men and women, appeared, also wear­ing white robes, but these were some­how brighter than the oth­er woman’s.

A fight ensued.  I’ll try to describe it, but it was very fast and hard to under­stand, even in my own dream.  People were jump­ing around, and it turned out that the only way to dis­able the antag­o­nist was to remove a gem from her per­son (I’m not sure where it was, real­ly).  My defend­ers were amass­ing on her, try­ing to get the gem.  Once it was tak­en, she was trans­formed into an ugly baby-like crea­ture, wrapped in her now over-sized robes.  She cast a spell, or some­thing, and her robes became soaked with water, which gave her some of her strength back, and enabled her to retrieve the gem.

This went back and forth for a while.  I’m not quite sure I under­stand what was going on, real­ly.  Her main method of attack seemed to be to attack from above (I think she was fly­ing), and shove her oppo­nent into one of the mud­dy areas in the lawn.  When she was suc­cess­ful, her oppo­nent was trans­formed into a tree.  After some time, I start­ed to get involved, hav­ing seen her weak­ness, and know­ing to stay clear of the mud pits.  I was­n’t very suc­cess­ful, but I was try­ing any­way.  The bat­tle wore on.

One of my defend­ers was about to be forced into one of the pits, and I pushed her aside to pro­tect her, and end­ed up in the pit myself.  I could feel myself trans­form­ing into one of the trees.

At that point, the scene changed.  I found myself inside of the house (I knew it was the same house, even though I nev­er went through a door­way), where the fight­ing had moved.  Our ene­my was los­ing now, in ugly-baby form, though she was try­ing to per­se­vere by keep­ing her­self wet.  My pro­tec­tors were fight­ing back by pulling the robes off of her, mak­ing her pow­er­less, but she kept con­jur­ing up new ones.

Finally, the last robe was torn off of her, and it was torn in two.  She was utter­ly defeat­ed.  All but one of my pro­tec­tors left the house, tak­ing with them one of the two pieces of her robe.  The remain­ing one placed the rem­nant of the robe (it had sud­den­ly become much small­er than it was), wrapped it in a Betsy Ross American flag, and placed it in a com­part­ment behind a tall white dress­er.  She dis­ap­peared with­out a word.

It was at this point that my alarm went off and the dream end­ed.  I hit snooze and went back to sleep for 10 min­utes.  I went imme­di­ate­ly into anoth­er dream, in the same white house, but at anoth­er time.  There were oth­er peo­ple here, I think a fam­i­ly, and I was afraid that the com­part­ment and its con­tents would be dis­cov­ered.  I knew it was dan­ger­ous, pos­si­bly fatal for me to touch it, yet I felt a pull to go retrieve it.  I did not, how­ev­er, fall to the temptation.

I hit snooze one more time.  Same house, yet a dif­fer­ent time, I think far in the future.  A child approached me with a Betsy Ross flag, and I was afraid.  I asked him where he got it, and he told me it was on the floor by the tall white dress­er.  I asked if he found any­thing else with it, and he hand­ed me a shiny black stone, telling me the flag was wrapped around it.

My alarm went off again, and I got out of bed.  I got halfway to the bath­room to brush my teeth when I real­ized what that dream was about.  (Realized is an under­state­ment, I knew, no ques­tions.)  I was wit­ness­ing a fight for my soul, in a way that I could com­pre­hend.  The dreams after were visions of a pos­si­ble future.

Last night, my wife and I had a fight.  I prayed that the Lord take my bur­dens and demons from me.  I don’t know if they were answered, or if this means some­thing else, but I sure did wake up feel­ing like a dif­fer­ent person.

Might do some more analy­sis on this later.